two-twenty

pretty is as pretty does

Two-twenty would like to be able to tell you who was chosen on the finale of NBC’s Average Joe, but we can’t. We were too busy vomiting from the motion sickness caused by the Brady-Bunch-on-methamphetamines editing of the next-to-last segment to see the end. Helpfully, most every news source across the USA is happy to inform us all today that, in a nationally televised case of “I really like you but I just want to be friends”, looker Jason triumphed over lumpy Adam. Seeing as millions of funny, personable, but less-than-perfect looking men (and possibly even some women) were forced to relive one of the more crushing moments of high school life, we can’t help but wonder if there was a slight spike in the suicide rate last night, or at least in the amount of alcohol consumed.

Speaking of millions, it also turns out that Adam has them. Millions of dollars, that is. So Melana’s choice (like Sophie’s Choice, only it is Melana’s, to paraphrase Charlie Kaufman’s brilliant script for the less than brilliant movie Human Nature) was not merely a choice between beauty and brains. It was more like a choice between a hot guy who lives in his parents’ basement and a not-so-hot guy who is a partner in an investment firm (well, ok, day-trading company), co-owns a Manhattan bar, and has been featured in Fortune magazine. Hm. I ‘m sure there’s a silver lining in there somewhere.

Oh, one last thing. For the last six weeks we’ve been trying to figure out who Melana reminded us of. Last night, we figured it out. Though she does not exactly look like her, she has all the same facial mannerisms as Tara Reid!

Average Joe II premieres January 5th. Until then, the original's official site may keep you sated:

NBC.com - Average Joe