two-twenty

tori loves chachi: a $pelling production

This past Autumn Tori Spelling and Charlie Shanian announced their engagement to the world. We missed the news, having been consumed by more important, more interesting things, like what kind of beer to order from Fresh Direct, how to keep our then-houseguest Tim from starting bar brawls, and re-learning html for the purpose of birthing our digital brainchild. Long awake from our solipsistic haze (though only on our third cup of coffee for the day) we rose to learn from Page Six that Tori and Charlie have set the date for August 14th, and have registered at Williams-Sonoma in an effort to assuage the disparity between the two families' bank accounts.

With the exception of the Professional Culinary Torch (sexy) and the Salter Nutrition Scale (so not-sexy), the registry reads like a 1950's hausfrau's response to the advice that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Or maybe how alter-ego Donna Martin might have prepared for her first stab at hosting Thanksgiving. (90210 flashback: didn't she marry David in the end after ditching that evil Ray-Pruitt-with-two-Ts? eh, doesn't matter, she definitely got laid before the show ended.)

As the Post cites, Tori's betrothed is a fellow thespian. Though we're far more interested in the couple's gifts than his, Charlie's voice-over reel provides a good minute of distraction... just like Tori's breasts.