two-twenty

heinz-kerrys are the new hiltons

We are not sure why, but Salon has decided to do an expose on the Heinz and Kerry families (referred to as the "Heinz-Kerrys"), calling them "a roiling mass of beauty, brains and bad temper." Um, ok.

Apparently, sometimes the Heinz-Kerrys use swear words. One of the Heinz boys once dated Gwyneth (who is herself quite the wildchild what with the marriage and the bun-in-the-oven and all), and another "is a reclusive Pennsylvania Buddhist who runs a school for wayward kids and is... [sensationally leading ellipse theirs] a blacksmith." Zounds! Daughter Alexandra Kerry is... a filmmaker!

Is this left-leaning Salon's attempt to spice up Kerry and get the pro-boob flash vote on board? Perhaps, as they end the piece thusly: "So far, allowing us to see this bunch of loons up close has only made their dull patriarch -- the man who may be elected president -- more palatable." Mmm... palatable loons.

Full disclosure: as two or three readers may remember, two-twenty once knew Alex Kerry, way back in our prep school daze. Due to the huge amounts of drugs and alcohol we imbibe on a daily basis, we barely remember anything about her. Regardless, we are very happy to hear how exciting and scandalously fabulous her life has become.

Is America ready for the wild Kerry family? | Salon