two-twenty

things that make you go... fucking fuck you! | alex

I just got a piece of spam. Something about my small penis' bad credit and the software that can help me fix it through mastery of ebay. That's not the point. The point is that rather than evading filters through dadaist poetry, random name generators, or intentional misspellings, this particular spam got through by spouting pithy "inspirational" one-liners:

Fear is proof of a low born soul.
Only the educated are free.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.
As people are walking all the time, in the same spot, a path appears.
I'm not a driven businessman, but a driven artist. I never think about money. Beautiful things make money.
There is nothing so uncertain as a sure thing.
One should always play fair when one has the winning cards.
Nothing right can be accomplished in art without enthusiasm.
He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.
A rut is a grave with no ends.
I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest things in the nicest way.
If you would have me weep, you must first of all feel grief yourself.

This made me want to drive a two-by-four through my computer screen. Because I am annoyed and feeling spiteful, I wanted to share this feeling with all of you. Today does have one silver lining, however: it is Thursday, and thus it is more or less socially acceptable to go out and get plastered tonight. Cheers.