two-twenty

average d'oh!

Average Joe 2: Electric Boogaloo proves yet again that hot chicks are stupid. Not once now, but twice, lame-ass idiot girls with funny names have had a choice between men who would devote their lives to ensuring their every hapiness and men who plan to use them in an attempt to reach an unprecedented sixteenth minute of fame. Not once now, but twice, these women have cavalierly tossed a baker's dozen of lawn darts at the hearts of the Average Joe while simultaneously tonguing the hairless balls of their chosen studly mate. Dextrous? Yes. Adroit decision making? Not so much.

This time, "Hottie Sensitive Artist" Larissa dumped "I Love You But I'd Fuck Nomar" Brian for "I'd Dump You For Winona Ryder... Or A Decent Agent" Gil. Incidentally, Joanna was so upset by Larissa's callous treatment of Boston Brian that she broke into tears. And she's a Yankees fan. Witness her sorrow:

We are pleased to report that there was a happy endning to this little passion play. Larissa had a BIG SECRET to reveal to her chosen breeding stud. A secret that, judging by the music and the well-edited tropical storm leading up to its revelation must be along the lines of "I'm a pre-op" or "I once flashed a breast at a Super Bowl halftime show." But no, it is EVEN BIGGER: she once dated FABIO!!! NO EFFING WAY!!!! That is like, such a BIG DEAL!!!! OmiGAWD!!!! Gil walks, obvs, sensing that any chick that has gone from dating Fabs to starring in a third-rate FOX reality TV show is not going to be able to help his career. Smart guy.

Larissa was, of course, crushed. Here's hoping that this life lesson inspires her artistically, or that she get's the gig hosting "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance 2". Either one would be good.