two-twenty

lookin' for love on all the blog pages

There has been a recent spate of somewhat disturbing "featured personals" on sites that two-twenty is fond of stalking. To put it simply, we are concerned that there may be some miscommunication going on. As a public service to you, our readers, we thought we might offer translations (at no charge, mind you) of some examples whose coded delivery may mask particularly nefarious subtexts. Keep in mind that we are, if not pros, at least not total strangers to the possible pitfalls of the New York dating scene. Anyway, onward:  
 
From Gawker

some_body_sam writes:"There is nothing more attractive than a man who knows how to take care of a woman, yet let her be independent at the same time."
Translation: I am extraordinarily high maintenance and probably passive aggressive. You will never know what I want but I will always expect you to give it to me.
 
gryn writes: "Last great book I read: People's History of the United States, Rules for Revolutionaries." (A quick peek one level deeper into gryn's profile reveals a third pick: Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree.)
Translation: You had best read this before you think seriously about dating me. On a related note: I will go down on you for hours.

From Gothamist

makeupgirlmac writes: "Song or album that puts me in the mood: Norah Jones, Santana, Joni Mitchell, Stevie Nicks, John Mayer, Bob Marley, Tori Amos."
Translation: You will never have anal sex with me.
 
From bunsen.tv

passion8 writes: "What I'm looking for: You have to be able to take a brutal beating with a smile, rock the beard, and look good in a torn loincloth. A direct line to God doesn't hurt, either."
Translation: You will only be having anal with me, at least until we are married.
 
Like our friendster profile says, we're just here to help, people.