two-twenty

big ups and beat downs: gawker edition

Is there irony in an irregularly updated and only debatably clever website passing judgment on one of the most successful web logs, like, evah? That is a question that can only be answered by a question: is there irony in an Alanis Morisette song? Regardless, because we care, a few Big Ups and Beat Downs directed at blogospheric behemoth Gawker Media:

1. Big Ups to Flintlock Pistol for his new position as time keeping drum beater on the corporate viking slave ship that is Gawker Media. Keep making us WASPs look good!

2. Related News: Big Ups to former slave driving drum beater and former former Gawker editor Ckhouirrye on his gig as Editor of Sorts at the most famous non-existent magazine ever. Well, maybe the second most famous. After "American Bitch".

3. Big Ups to Gawker Media and lifehacker for their $25,000 per month advertising sponsorship agreement with Sony. Says AdAge: "...media pros are buzzing about whether the Sony-Gawker pricing begins to define buys on high-profile blogs going forward."

4. Related News: A mild Beat Down comes from the same above-linked AdAge article: "...two of Mr. Denton's latest blog launches were flops. Kinja.com, which was about weird stuff on the Web, and Kitaku.com, which was for an audience of video-game freaks..." It's always sad when weird freaky stuff doesn't catch on.

5. Big Ups to Gawker.com for exposing the lurid, kinky, downright dirty side of what was supposed to be the cleanest Super Bowl ever: Fox and U.S. troops love football and digital penetration of the anus. What's that? You don't get it? Well, see, the "shocker" is... Ummm, Urban Dictionary? Can you field this one? We're no prudes, but double penetration has a way of making even interracial semi-topless canoodling look tame.

6. Lastly, we are forced by circumstances beyond our control to give a stern Beat Down to Gawker.com. Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. We are certain that you are a very nice person. But lady, you just plain ain't been funny lately. Are you sure you have little enough to lose to be doing this? Do you need inspiration? Hott tip: Monkeys are always funny!