two-twenty

this will only be funny to one person, and that person is not you

Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. We are so happy that you took our "monkeys are always funny" tip. But as with so many other surefire cure-alls, its power dissipates with overuse (think antibiotics; John Hughes movies; heroin).

"Get your hand out of my pants, Brad." "That's not my hand."

Four monkey references in two days? Oh, wait, that last one was to monkeyboy Lachlan Murdoch; only a slant reference. Still, spread the love a little thinner, girl. Try something that used to work quite well for our old iFriend Eurotrash – intersperse the monkey jokes with a few judicious hobbit refer—Oh. We see you already got the memo.

I know, I know… there’s no pleasing some people. Here’s a little carrot: it pleased us no end to see the word “monkeyfucker” used so matter-of-factly yesterday. Inspirational!

"Jesus Juice Saves!"