September 12, 2005
miracle grill | mister hamburger
Miracle grill, 1st Ave btwn 6th and 7th, 212-254-2353
BURGER NAME: Sirloin Burger with cheese ($13.45)
FIRST IMPRESSION: 
Mister Hamburger went to a German place for beers earlier and ordered something called a Spartan ale. Mister Hamburger, being a real man, ordered one liter of the lolly water crap and was forced to drink it to prove his manliness. When he arrived at Miracle Grill, the miracle was Mister Hamburger did not piss himself, or vomit the sweet crap back up.
Instead, Mister Hamburger made it to the toilet, and on the way back he saw some incredible looking burgers on the grill with a nice man dropping spices onto them. Mister Hamburger had already settled on the chicken breast, though upon seeing the patties grilling, he made urgent changes to his order after racing back to the table like a loser from LA.
APPEARANCE: 
The patties cooking on the grill with some stuff being dropped onto them is an image Mister Hamburger will die with.
MEAT: The consistency was very very good, with the patty staying well together during the entire session of burger love.
BUN: 
Too thin, though, like the meat stayed together very well even with lots of drippyness.
PACKAGE: 
Very handsome arrangement. Mister Hamburger could not have dreamed of such a beautiful arrangement in his wildest fantasies. Except for Les Halles or DB Bistro of course.
TASTE: Extremely good. Could taste all the goodness thoroughly with even flavors of bells and whistles, some crazy béarnaise sauce pretending to be chipotle mayo type of stuff, and the wonderful fabulous meat.
DRIPPYNESS: A little too much drip for Mister Hamburger's liking, some of the juice dripped onto his hands which is not sexy from a hamburger.
MEAT TEXTURE: Very firm, and perfectly cooked.
MEAT COLOR: Mister Hamburger loves char grilled patties with bright red insides.
SIZE: Too Many fries, but the burger alone was an excellent size.
VALUE: Easily enough for a major sit down dinner, and cheap.
COOKED TO SPECS: Exactly medium rare. One of the very very few places on earth who understand what medium rare means to a medium rare lover like Mister Hamburger.
AMOUNT OF LOVE FROM CHEF: Mister Hamburger spoke to the cookers and told them it was one of the best burgers he had eaten in the city, and they seemed honestly happy. Mister Hamburger also thinks they understood what he said because they answered him in engish - "really?" they said. Mister Hamburger said "Yes, you will lead a successful life in the hamburger cooking, or anything else you decide to do because you are legends of the grill and this understanding can translate to anything such as the tea ceremony, flower arrangement, or artistic direction.
FROM DELIVERY PERSON/WAITER: She was a lover of the hamburger and therefore well looked upon by Mister Hamburger.
ONE HOUR LATER: Mister Hamburger had a vodka as usual, and he felt damn fine.
BELLS AND WHISTLES: Hand cut fries, and a damn fine sauce that tasted a lot like Bourdain's Béarnaise sauce.
FINAL IMPRESSION: Mister Hamburger told the chef he loved him. Maybe it was the vodka, but Mister Hamburger was very very impressed.
july 14th 2006 | missus hamburger
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