January 30, 2005
seller beware | joanna • post/haste
Ash spotted the following item on ebay yesterday in his never-ending search for a proper desk chair (do you have one?).
It was listed as being "vintage art deco" which -- as it clearly is not -- sent me into one of my muttering spells, and caused Ash to translate that to a missive...
"my girlfriend says youre an idiot and it is not an art deco chair and it is a scandanavian 50's chair. she says you're a dufus and thinks that you must have no education. she also said that the chair is ugly like its owner probably is."
The seller's response?
"Your girl friend is probably right, i will update my listing. It is ugly, that is why i am selling it."
Just imagine this guy on a date generated from a personal ad.
January 26, 2005
pour some sugar on me • post/haste
Those durn gays are at it again. Continuing their long-running campaign to subvert our nation's youth to the dark side of rug-munching and ass-fucking, the gay mafia has once again attempted to insert their agenda into the soft yielding flesh of our childrens' minds.
As if Ernie and Bert (and some say... Kermit...?), Tinky Winky, Barney, and SpongeBob weren't enough, now American tax dollars have been spent to send an animated character on a field trip to LesboLand, also known as Vermont. The PBS Kids show "Postcards From Buster" recently produced a segment where the title character, an animated bunny, visited two lesbian couples who run maple sugar farms. The awesome title of the segment? "Sugartime!" (We didn't even add the exclamation point, people!)
Following harsh censure from our new Education Secretary, PBS has cancelled plans to air the episode (well, WGBH in Boston is still going to air it, but talk about preaching to the converted). However, two-twenty has learned that Buster blogged his visit to the secluded sapphic sanctuary. Excerpts follow:
"We travelled to Vermont in the spring... the whole state is a puddle!"
"Karen and my mom used to... serve it with a pickle..."
"sweet, thick... Muffy... beautiful..."
Sugartime, indeed!
Education chief rips PBS for gay character | msnbc.com
January 20, 2005
that's hot • post/haste
As dear Winona once taught us, shoplifting is hot (this is a corollary to the "any publicity is good publicity" law of Hollywood). But let's face it, that was then... This is 2005, baby, and we want our thievery dressed in thigh-highs; we want a little pudenda with our purloined property.
Today, we discover a highly evolved hybrid trend: meta porn shoplifting. This v. v. hott, v. v. neuw trend involves grabbing a (preferably "unauthorized") sex tape of oneself and storming loudly out of a store, all in full view of security cameras (as everyone knows by now, it's always better on camera). As with all most excellent trends, at its inception it can only be adopted by a select few. Proving once again that she has her finger on the pulse of public puerility (and who knows where else that finger has been?), credit for inventing this startlingly innovative and sublimely self-referential act goes to -- who else? -- Paris Hilton.
Paris Hilton to Face Charges of Theft and Vandalism? | celebrityjustice.com (via Salon)
January 17, 2005
remember opposite day? • post/haste
At first we thought the below-linked craigslist post was a bored junior ad exec's rant. Then we finished reading and realized it was simply a moderately clever attempt by ad agency digitas to attract disaffected copywriters. Wait a sec... disaffected copywriters... we are so totally applying for this. Disregard the above. What we have here is quite simply the:
Best. Craigslist. Copywriter wanted ad. Ever.
Copywriter | craigslist
Related: house of wigs blog