two-twenty

le café crème | mister hamburger • post/haste

Le Café Crème, 4 Rue Dupetit Thouers, 75003 Paris France

BURGER NAME: Hamburger "Muffin" (Pain Anglais) €10

FIRST IMPRESSION: Mister Hamburger loves to eat hamburgers and smoke. Inside. For the time being, Mister Hamburger is allowed to smoke in bistros and cafes in Paris, so the first impression is already high. Mister Hamburger loves France, especially Paris, and especially Paris bistro food. Le Café Crème serves the burger on a chopping board, country style, which is charming, and the presentation was perfect. Mister Hamburger felt it was a meal that looked very good, and not at all pretentious like many of the hamburgers he has eaten before. Mister Hamburger thinks a hamburger should be something that looks like it wants to be eaten, not a work of art he is scared to touch.

APPEARANCE: The salad looked fresh, the bacon, which was presumably cooked in the jus de l'hamburger was on the side and looked good. The ketchup was Heinz and the 1664 beer was cold.

MEAT: Mister Hamburger hasn't had meat as good as this in a burger in years. Mister Hamburger gives French cows and French chefs five hamburgers. Mister Hamburger has also noticed a correlation between restaurants in France that serve Steak Tartar and hamburgers--the French love their tartar and should they also make burgers at that place, you're virtually guaranteed a very high quality burger.

BUN: The bun was an english muffin, which Mister Hamburger has had only once before, at the same place. It was slightly under toasted which is the only reason it didn't get five hamburgers. The muffin texture is perfect for absorbing the juices.

PACKAGE:

TASTE: The meat was un-fucking-beleivable and the flavours mixed perfectly with the cheese and the muffin, which was slightly sweet. Everything was extremely fresh and made for one of Mister Hamburger's favorite burgers of all time.

DRIPPYNESS: Perfect. Mister Hamburger had only a few drips on his plate (and shirt) after he finished.

MEAT TEXTURE:

MEAT COLOR:

SIZE: Mister Hamburger had eaten a jambon é fromage crêpe before the burger, so it was hard to judge, but according to size and amount of fries, it was neither too large nor too small.

VALUE: €10 is a lot for a burger, and given Mister Hamburger has to convert from US dollars, it gets expensive in Europe. That said, Mister Hamburger would pay more for this fucking awesome burger, because he loves to eat French hamburgers.

COOKED TO SPECS: Signon is French for medium rare, and it was spot on. Bright red in the middle and crunchy and dark on the outside.

AMOUNT OF LOVE FROM CHEF: Mister Hamburger isn't sure if it is love or just French pride in their cuisine, but the chef did a damned good job of the burger. Actually, it's probably French pride... which is better than Italian pride when it comes to cooking. Mister Hamburger was in Venice last year and a chef threw a plate of food against a wall after Mister and Missus Hamburger couldn't finish it. Mister Hamburger thinks that is a little much.

FROM DELIVERY PERSON/WAITER: Mister and Missus Hamburger were seated at the very rear of the restaurant, which means we're ugly. It also means Mister Hamburger had trouble getting the waiters attention.

ONE HOUR LATER: Mister Hamburger stayed out drinking at Les Furieux until five o'clock in the morning, which is not normally possible. Mister Hamburger puts it down to the burger. Mister Hamburger puts the terrible hangover the next day down to Absolut Mandarin vodka though, which he and his friends were forced to drink after they drank out the bars supply of Zubrovka.

BELLS AND WHISTLES: The fries were not as fresh as they should be, but that's easily fixed.

FINAL IMPRESSION: One of the best hamburgers ever, even though it is gimmicky. Mister Hamburger strongly recommends all French or visitors to France visit Le Café Crème. Oh yeah, and in summer, they have a great big terrace and hot waitresses.

FINAL IMPRESSION: