two-twenty

stella mccartney mania | joanna • post/haste

H&M clothing is like crack: it's cheap, provides a short, intense high, and, over time, becomes a regrettable addiction difficult to break. Stella McCartney's collection for H&M is like cocaine: it's "chic", a bit more expensive, and, apparently, everyone in New York is openly doing it.

As a recovering H&M addict, I generally limit my forays to the shop(s) for essentially disposable accessories, namely, the wide black hair elastics, and the stockings (fishnet, opaque, sheer, whatever), but the siren song of Miss Stella proved too difficult to ignore. I swear, I tried to stay away, and even attempted to solicit dissuasion from my friend Liz in the form of an e-mail: "I try to stay out... but they keep pulling me back in." Her response? "Well... this is special! And worth it!"

Fully enabled, I arrived at the H&M on 34th and Herald Square at around 11:30. I knew Lagerfeld's collection sold out in minutes, but Stella's? Surely not.

Gone. Seriously. Everything but some ridiculous bikini with a rhinestone encrusted triangle bra that to any woman with a cup-size bigger than an A looks like two pasties conveniently connected by a string (you know, so you don't lose one of them). Apparently, there were women lined up at the Herald Square shop at 8AM. Okay.

At this point, I'm jonesing. I remembered that there's another H&M on 34th and 7th. I walk in, and there are, I don't know, 100 women standing by the escalator. At first I thought they were in line to check out. No. They were waiting for the next shipment of coke merchandise.

Suddenly, the escalators switch directions, and like highly suggestible lemmings, the more optimistic junkies glide upstairs, albeit wearing utterly confused expressions. Others see the escalator flip-flop as a ruse and remain downstairs. At this juncture, I'm no longer interested in the clothing; I am utterly fascinated by how strangely everyone is behaving.

The traffic flowing upstairs allowed more people to gather in the allocated Stella section...

...inciting the ladies who went up to return downstairs.

When I left, there were about 200 women still waiting. According to a clerk behind the counter, the shipment would be arriving within minutes, and would be the last of the day.

Still curious, I returned to the Herald Square shop. It was dead. I approached one of the workers there to inquire about future shipments. According to her, the Herald Square Store will get more product in at 8AM tomorrow morning, and the 7th Avenue shop is due to replenish at 3PM and 8PM today.

I'm not going back. Can't do it. Not giving in to the Scandinavian ski demons. No no no.

But if you see the blue dress — is it a dress? I don't care, whatever it is in the window — in a size 8, can you get it for me? And those boots, too, if they even sell them, in a size 7.5. Yeah, those. I'll pay you back. I promise.

hanging my threads | joanna • post/haste

Contrary to some very compelling evidence, I am not -- well, not exclusively -- a disorganized mess.

No, dear two-twenty reader, I am an organizing-idiot savant.

And here is my latest flash of intelligence: hangers that work.

Just a little bit of paper taped to either side of my hangers. Presto: no more slip dresses slipping off slippery hangers.

In retrospect, I could have used the cool Muji clips I bought for no apparent reason. Would have been more aesthetically pleasing and easier to undo.

Ah, retrospect.

hanging my threads | joanna • post/haste

Contrary to some very compelling evidence, I am not -- well, not exclusively -- a disorganized mess.

No, dear two-twenty reader, I am an organizing-idiot savant.

And here is my latest flash of intelligence: hangers that work.

Just a little bit of paper taped to either side of my hangers. Presto: no more slip dresses slipping off slippery hangers.

In retrospect, I could have used the cool Muji clips I bought for no apparent reason. Would have been more aesthetically pleasing and easier to undo.

Ah, retrospect.

jailbait rocks catwalk • post/haste

Get ready to see this little lady everywhere:

Elvis Presley's grandaughter, Riley Keough, made her catwalk debut in Milan last month as Dolce & Gabbana's new "face" for their D&G Fall 2004 collection.

According to her manager Desiree Gruber, the model has been deluged with offers, some for gigs which might present her in a tartier fashion than D&G (as though that were possible). "Riley is 14," Gruber explains, "She's not going to do lingerie. She's not going to do swimwear. Anything too hot and sexy is not going to happen."

Famous last words.

No word yet on whether or not Riley ascribes to her parents' chosen cult of Scientology, or whether she dropped her first name "Danielle" because Riley is clearly a hotter, sexier name.

Front Row: Not Without My Sweater | NY Times

shooting blankly in israel • post/haste

Sometimes it is very difficult to watch well-intentioned but clueless people interject themselves into complex situations. There is the Occam's Razor argument, positing essentially that the simplest answer is often the correct one, but this does not mean that we should appoint Jessica Simpson as Secretary of State.

Case in point: a fashion shoot recently at the Israeli security barrier. Whether or not fashion house Comme-Il-Faut is concerned primarily with peace or with selling clothes (the photos are not appearing in a political journal, they are for a catalogue) may certainly be debated, but the question seems somewhat moot. The bottom line is that, due to the lopsided value system of international consumer culture, the very act of putting a model next to the barrier interpolates the wall into the world of fashion, as opposed to the other way around.

Maybe we should let one of the models explain it: "We are doing something to show that we are just people who want to have no barriers, peace and, you know, beautiful things like me and the clothes. Not gray walls." Indeed. Or perhaps the Times reporter who filed the story sums up the complicated issues best in his closing paragraph: "Ms. Weinberg wore brown plaid pants and a bright orange jacket."

Fashionable Protest, Lost in Translation | NY Times

mood: mode • post/haste

Fashion inspires, inspiration fashions.

As promised, these are nine images from around two-twenty that inspire us in our work, in our lives.

We hope they inspire you.

rubber chicken

A rubber chicken on our radiator and in front of our air conditioner reminds us that fashion concerns itself primarily with protecting the body from the elements. Hot. Cold. We are naked without feathers. Like the rubber chicken, it is funny because it is true. But it is not funny because it is fashion.

rubber ducky

More plastic poultry. Poetry. Plastic poetry. Snorkel duck represents resourcefulness, knowledge, savoir-faire. He is a duck, he swims. He is fearless in his pursuit of profundity but recognizes his shortcomings. He has a snorkel.

binoculars

We cater to women who dress for themselves, for other women, for men, and for perverts. Women want to be seen. They want to be beautiful, sexy. Perverts want to see sexy, beautiful women. It is important to see the big picture.

books

Culture is everywhere. Books teach us about worlds that lay beyond fashion. We adore curling up with a good book, reading a few pages -- three or four -- with a glass of champagne. Or three or four. We feed our souls with knowledge. Bubbles float like good ideas!

sustenance

We are human. We eat. When we were first starting out in this business we did not eat much. We still do not eat much. But we are better off now, and so we celebrate our successes. We celebrate life. Our refrigerator inspires us to live in the moment, to celebrate. Life is short, and there are always difficult times. We tell our clients to eat! drink! celebrate! but do not eat too much because we do not make clothing for the fat women.

bottles

Do they not look like people at a party? Some are old and some are new. The space between them contains secrets. This is tailoring! We can not overstate the importance of a proper fit.

fiorello

Fiorello LaGuardia. He was a man, a mayor of our city. An important man: there is an airport named for him. His serious countenance -- he looms! Our designs loom. Some are made on looms. We try to be bold.

photobooth photos

Spontaneity! A moment! Fashion indexes moments. There are different looks, captured in the blink of an eye. We are a photobooth capturing moments. Posterity is secondary.

dolls

There is the David Bowie song, "Little China Girl". These are little China boys. One is happy, one is sad, and one is confused. The sad one wears pink. He will be happy soon. Pink is happy. We used a lot of pink in our Spring 2003 collection, but we did not play "Little China Girl." We will be using pink again for Spring 2004. And camouflage. There is much strife in the world these days. Pink camouflage tells people to acknowledge the difficult times. But be happy!

wwjd? use wmds • post/haste

Next must-have fashion accesory for denizens of Williamsburg: "Who Would Jesus Bomb" shirts. Now if they only made these as trucker hats...

Funny Bush Cheney 2004 Campaign Gear | Cafe Shops

white the new black, crazy the new sexy • post/haste

Ginia Bellafante writes in reference to "Something's Got to Give" that not since "Saturday Night Fever" can she "recall when the color white has played a more aggressive role in a movie's costuming". Well two-twenty remembers. Ah, yes. The year was 1987, the movie, "Fatal Attraction". Crazy Glenn? Dressed in black. Really crazy Glenn? Dressed in white. Oh, what about "Basic Instinct"? Sharon wears white white white. And she's crazy, too. So what have we learned here? Not only is white, as Bellafante pus it, "not the color of free spirits who wake up to days unplanned": it's the color of crazy.

Hypothesis: maybe the reason white didn't take off last year when it was deemed 2002's new black is because Amy Sohn had yet to inadvertently suggest that New York women had a better shot of getting laid if they were loons.

Manhattan Forecast: Shades of Snow | NY Times

hating on ashton: not a sin, possibly a vice • post/haste

We are not huge fans of Vice (the magazine, that is), although their never-failing ability to make mainstream media look stupid is admittedly amusing. Maybe we're just jealous of the amount of money they have made from exploiting the hipster phenom. Whatevs. This is not about Vice. This is about Ashton Kutcher.

Two-twenty avoided watching the VH1 "Big in '03" "awards" for obvious reasons. Then last night, with no Average Joe to placate us, we caved and watched the extravaganza's 3,008th showing. Ashton received some idiotic invention called the "Big Stylin'" award.

Now, Ashton was fine when he was just one little part of an ensemble cast on the entertainingly offbeat first season of That 70's Show. Ever since then he has grown more and more in need of a swift kick to the head. As Ashton made his acceptance speech for the cashmoneyhos or pimpdaddy or whatever award, he basically called himself the most original man in the world, in part because of his amazing accomplishment of single-handedly making the ugliest piece of American headgear a de rigeur fashion accessory.

Ashton, we want you to know that you are not original. THIS guy, from Vice's fashion "Dos" column, is original.

Dos and Donts | Viceland.com

when your last fin is worth more than the wallet holding it • post/haste

All that time MacGyver wasted building remote-controlled bombs out of chewing gum and bobby pins could have been spent building an empire - an Empire of Duct Tape Fashion Accessories! We'll leave it to you how attractive you find them, but they are certainly attractively priced, and as far as we can tell have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with metrosexuality, which is a plus.

DUCTI - Keep it together.

Oh, wait. Are you really, really cheap? Try making your own instead. Home schooling may be out, but home fashion is totally in. Haven't you noticed that everyone's been gutting their pet sheep and wearing them on their feet?

How to make a Duct Tape wallet

australian for ugly • post/haste

There was something charming about Cammy and Drew sporting Uggs with their minis last summer, or at least vaguely interesting in an oh-those-nutty-kids-in-LA way. But now sheepskin boots are everywhere, and it is neither charming nor interesting. This shoe trend is as absurd as the J-Lo Timber-Manolo hybrid, but now the Aussies are laughing at us. It's supposed to be the other way around.

Shaggy Chic: The New York Times on the Web