two-twenty

but i thought 30 was the new 21 and 5'9" was the new 6'2" | alex • post/haste

Let me get this straight... my best friend just used our shared soapbox to indirectly proclaim me short and old on a day when we are still getting massive leftover traffic from THE NAME? Ummmm... thanks?

Wait a sec... old... short... I'm a bit commitment-phobic too... I need to date an engaged hobbit-fetishist!

tall in spirit, just about as wise as his years | joanna • post/haste

Project Date-Our-Flatmate has gathered significant momentum recently, such to the point of requiring a major update. While I conduct my interview with Alex via e-mail concerning the project's myriad of successes, here's a friendster exchange showcasing one of its, uh, shortcomings. (nb EJ is 23)

From: EJ
Date: February 10, 2004 3:15 PM
Re: Joanna has suggested a match for you!

You are the second person today who has recommended this guy to me. I want to know just one thing: is he TALL? I'm tall.

From: Joanna
Date: February 12, 2004 4:37 PM
Re: Joanna has suggested a match for you!

Well, no, Alex isn't tall per se, but checks in at an utterly respectable 5'9". Nonetheless he is tall in spirit.

Hmm. The other recommendation probably came from my boyfriend Ashley. He and I are both trying to line up dates for our dear roommate and my best friend. The project is chronicled on Alex and my website at two-twenty.net... I know it's probably a little weird, but (though not statuesque) Alex is a great guy. And, apparently, both Ash and I think you guys might hit it off.

Joanna

From: EJ
Date: February 13, 2004 9:07 AM
Re: Joanna has suggested a match for you!

I don't know, Joanna, he's short and older, so he's already got two major point against him. I'm sure he's a really great friend, but just not what I'm looking to date. But it's really nice of you to try and hook him up.

From: Joanna
Date: February 16, 2004 9:56 AM
Re: Joanna has suggested a match for you!

thanks for writing back ej. no big deal on alex... i totally get it.

would you mind if i wrote about our little exchange on the website? i wouldn't have to use your name if you didn't want me to.

From: EJ
Date: February 16, 2004 5:07 PM
Re: Joanna has suggested a match for you!

sure, no problem. good luck with the web site.

This just in: Alex got a date!

the subject speaks | alex • post/haste

A project: date our flatmate update, provided by the flatmate in question: I’ll be honest, not a lot has been going on with this recently. What with Joanna and Ash being in Paris, me being out of town for nearly two weeks, the winter weather, the binge drinking, the alien abductions, etc… So, this is simply an apology to anyone who was hoping to live vicariously through this, er, experience, and yes, I am talking to both of you. The good news: spoke with Ash the other day and in regards to p:dof he promised/warned me that I should “be very afraid” as I anticipate his return. Knowing him, soon my picture and cellphone number will be up on some special subsection of craigslist’s casual encounters called “anal only” or “leather lovers”.

Anyway, a brief update for all: Joanna suggested about twenty matches for me on slutster, I looked at about half of them, sent messages to exactly three of them, and precisely two of them wrote back to me. Additionally, in an event proving the ultimate meta-incestuous nature of blogging*, one lovely lady who had been ‘suggested’ was at Lockhart’s party last weekend. We did not meet, but she found this site through his site, found my slutster page through p:dof, realized she had seen it before and sent me a message. In fact, it was her kind note that prompted me to compose this post.

Uh, yeah, so… I guess I’m going to update my slutster page, like with some music and stuff… Lasagnafarm reminds me that slutster is like the trucker hat of websites, but also makes me wonder if I should change my profile age to 28 or 29… ummm… Lindsayism threatens to begin an online dating project as well, hopefully more successful than ours or the spark’s… let’s see… other dating news… oh, from what we’ve seen so far on the episodes and in the 'scenes from', that Larissa on Average Joe 2 is a total kissing slut. Even David Daskal gets a taste!

*I hate this word. I am a self-hating blogger. Please, someone, come up with a better word. I will buy anyone a beer who invents a more respectable word two-twenty can use for what it is and does other than blog and blogging. No offense, of course, everyone knows blogging is played, yo. We’re just trying to stay ahead of the backlash through some linguistic trickery. Send all suggestions to alex@two-twenty.net. Free beer may be redeemed at any establishment listed in Wendy Mitchell’s guide to New York City’s Best Dive Bars.

we have some nerve | joanna • post/haste

Too bad Alex's dating life is still practically non-existent... if it weren't he could perhaps be one of the six men and women Nerve will select to chronicle their dating experiences on the Nerve personals homepage. Soon enough, soon enough. Ash and I spent a solid chunk of time working on Alex's Salon personal today. Well, Ash did. And I edited. Oh how I edited. Will post some of Ash's better gems as soon as I recover from the stroke his ridiculously funny commentary induced.

Personals Blog | Nerve

love in an elevator | joanna • post/haste

Turns out Alex had an electrically-charged interlude in the elevator the other night with an unknown woman he described as a "hottie" upon coming home (only slightly tight). Their conversation was too dull to bother to relate here, but she did touch his arm as she made her exit onto the sixth floor. Yes, we have contact. Have brought in doormen to help identify Miss Six. Believe it to be an especially opportune time to employ their sleuthing services as t'is Christmas bilking season. (Note to self: extra five spot for whoever identifies her first.)

while you're gawking... | joanna • post/haste

Since two-twenty is receiving all kinds of attention today from gawker readers, I figure it might be a good time to post a picture of our datable-flat-mate, Alex. Actually, the gawker thing is just an excuse: Alex is at the gym right now -- that's right, ladies, he goes to the gym regularly -- and therefore unable to tacitly guilt-trip me into less pimp-like behavior. Clicking on the proceeding image will result in an almost-full-length pop-up of eligible eye candy.

checking in on alex's friendster page | joanna • post/haste

Going over Alex's friendster profile as part of preliminary phase of project. His bio reads very well: clever, but not too clever. Definitely personable. Decent photos, yes, though could do better. Seventeen friends. Good. But missing people. Biggest issue is lack of testimonials. Must remedy immediately.

introducing project date-our-flatmate! | joanna • post/haste

Project date-our-flatmate unofficially began before Ash went to Baghdad, when he and I took it upon ourselves to post a match.com profile for our dear friend and roommate Alex. Though our devilishly humorous answers severly mitigated Alex’s chances of receiving any responses, it became strikingly clear that were Ash and I to fill the form out honestly rather than merely in an effort to amuse ourselves, success wasn’t just likely, it was inevitable.

But what exactly constitutes a successful outcome of project date-our-flatmate? Depends on who you ask. Ash, goal-oriented man that he is, has, um, goal-oriented masculine ideas about successful outcome(s). He is also a big fan of theSpark’s date my sister project. Though I share his enthusiasm for the website we are clearly ripping off, I will define success as Alex dating an array of women before his deeply-ingrained propensity for serial monogamy propels him into another long-term relationship.

Since Ash is still working in Bags, I will be at the helm of the project during its initial phases. Alex is fully aware of the endeavor, and is a willing, if cringing, participant.

Okay, fine, I got him drunk and he said yes.

Our methodology for this fetal stage will operate on two fronts: acoustic and electric. The acoustic efforts will probably manifest themselves in the form of pointing out hot chicks at parties, bars and other places; the electric will consist of sincerely filling out profiles on various personals websites. Alex already has a friendster page.

Want to date our flatmate? Drop us a line.